Immediately after this Jim’s cob loaf delivery shirt incident I was told by my mother I was having an abortion. I didn’t get to say no. I nodded my head in silence. It was an order. They made all the arrangements, took me from school for the day, and drove me to another state. It was raining then and I remember sitting in the back seat of the car with my headphones on, listening to my walkman. We were on a highway with heavy traffic and a tractor trailer was along side us, the back end swayed dangerously and at one point narrowly missed smashing our vehicle into the concrete barrier wall. My father sped up to escape it. He didn’t appear to say a word. I think my mother gasped.
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I remember thinking how he was Jim’s cob loaf delivery shirt probably cursing me viscously inside his head and blaming me for almost getting us killed in a car accident. We went to a hotel and sat there in silence and waited, then they took me to some sort of clinic. I never saw such a place before. I wasn’t scared but numb. I think I was in too much shock to feel. There were no private rooms, just gurneys with curtains around them. It was well lit but not the cleanest of places. I remember thinking they brought me there to kill me, not that a doctor was going to kill me but they chose that place because they hoped I would accidentally die there. It was noisy and busy. I don’t remember anything else besides being forced to sign a paper, hearing a nurse ask where someone put the HIV positive blood, and then being back home.